For Once
by utagoe
Summary: She knew she was a bother, but he wouldn’t say it aloud. Just for once, it would be nice if he confessed how he felt. Natsume Takashi & Sasada Jun


Disclaimer: I do not own _Natsume Yuujinchou_.

This takes place anywhere after season one, but before season two.

**For Once**

_She knew she was a bother, but he wouldn't say it aloud. Just for once, it would be nice if he confessed how he felt._

_-------------_

Every morning was the same.

"Ohayou, Natsume-kun!"

He returned the greeting…

Typical response.

…placed an unmistakable smile…

Typical look.

…and waved.

Typical gesture.

Sometimes, she wished he would open up more.

_-------------_

Every afternoon was the same.

"Ne, Natsume-kun, do you want to have lunch us?"

He apologized…

Typical tone.

…gave a quick smile…

Typical composure.

…and walked away.

Typical outcome.

Sometimes, she hoped he would say something else.

_-------------_

Every departure was the same.

"Oi, Natsume-kun, wanna go and karaoke?"

He replied with an excuse…

Typical reply.

…applied a fake smile…

Typical smile.

…and dashed off home.

Typical direction.

She stared off to the distance, dreaming the same thing as she always did.

_-------------_

Once she returned home, Sasada flopped on her bed and relished in the feeling of her layered sheets, radiating such sweet tender warmth to her exhausted body. Her light blue plush elephant, Phanie, stared hollowly into her tired eyes. A staring contest formed, and neither was willing to give in to the other. As reality struck, Sasada blinked and laughed at her own silliness.

"_At least I calmed down a bit now,_" she thought.

Her left hand blocked her right eye, opening and closing its fingers continuously. When the fingers were closed, she saw the world according to a teenager. She was a teenager who attended school. She was a teenager who enjoyed youth. She was a teenager who thought about the future, but she was also a teenager with other interests.

When she separated her slim digits, she saw the world according to an outsider, an observer. She peered through the gaps and was mesmerized by the numerous angles and joints. Each corner held a new experience, but because it was new, it was also scary. That was a world she wanted to open. It was a world she wanted Nastume-kun to share.

"_I won't force him. I won't bother him. I won't do anything," _she recited in her mind. Her thoughts wandered and she moaned from that old expression. _Curiosity killed the cat._ Now that she thought about it, she _**almost**_ killed a cat and it _**was**_ out of curiosity. Of course, the original meaning of the proverb was different, but it was true nonetheless.

"Alright! From this day on, I will not agonize and frivolously load my ponderings upon Natsume-kun! I will rely on myself to find the mysteries, ghosts, demons, warlocks, fairies, and any other creatures I have not mentioned!! I am God!!!"

Her fist pounded the air as she declared her statement.

"JUN-CHAN! Please, quiet down. People are sleeping!"

"Hai, okaasan!"

"_I'll be God tomorrow_," she thought as she chuckled and dozed into Dream Land.

_-------------_

Another morning came knocking on her window.

Another ray of light came tickling on her bed.

Another source of warmth came massaging on her body.

However, the rest of the day will be different.

Sasada grabbed her bento, waved good-bye, and dashed to school. Her mind was so focused from her resolve last night that even the typical boy noticed.

"During school, create ghost hunting schedule. After school, initiate ghost hunting schedule. What kind of equipment would I need? If I bring too much, then they will think I'm really out to get them. Maybe, I should come alone with offerings and say I want to be friends. Wait, maybe I should…," Sasada muttered more incomprehensible notions while giving off a creepy vibe to rest of the people on the streets and sidewalks.

As she was drawing up her plans in her head, she walked right pass Natsume. No hello was said. No acknowledgement was shown. No hesitation was given nor was an apology presented to the clueless Natsume. She walked and continued walking until he could no longer see her presence.

He waited for her typical greeting. He waited for her typical outburst. He waited for her typical hand gesture.

None.

For once, Natsume gave an atypical look.

_-------------_

The afternoon was joyous and gay.

The students playfully bickered and bellowed cries of amusement.

The teachers lectured on as usual.

However, lunchtime will be different.

"Okazaki-sensei! Okazaki-sensei!"

Okazaki-sensei calmed the typhoon known as Sasada, and asked what was wrong.

"Do you still have those EVP Detectors when you were in your old college's Supernatural Club?"

He asked what the heck she would want such a thing.

She huffed a response and grinned while whisking away the gadget in Okazaki-sensei's grasp, neglecting Natsume who happened to be outside.

Natsume was about to hand some papers to Okazaki-sensei after refusing to have lunch…again. He thought he would help the faculty as well as himself to avoid other gluttonous donations. He was about to open the door, but it was already opened as a rambunctious Sasada popped. She danced away into the halls and didn't notice Natsume.

For once, Natsume plopped hard on the ground…

An atypical composure.

…and was about to say something, but her figure disappeared once more.

An atypical response.

_-------------_

Departures were full of ushering.

Hand signals were recognized and motioned again in compensation.

Get-togethers were rectified and were put through electronic messages.

However, the outcome will be different.

Natsume excused himself from the social circle and trotted home.

Sasada hummed happily as she pocketed her EVP Detector. So involved in her own little world, she couldn't contain herself and skipped all around. All the students desperately tried to stay clear of her except one student was given her skip-to-trip of doom…unfortunately.

"Ughhh…," Sasada managed to mouth after the sudden collision. She felt something soft and wiggling underneath her. A groan was heard and she jumped from her previous position to notice Natsume-kun. He was very flat and…maybe, crooked?

"Oh my god, Natsume-kun! Daijoubu? Do you need anything? I'll call the ambulance for you. Wait here!" She was close to dashing off like before until Natsume grabbed her hand and motioned her to halt. Sasada felt like she would fall again, but straightened herself so she could help Natsume up from the ground.

"I'm alright. I think nothing is broken though, so you don't need to go through all that trouble." Natsume was about to smile to reassure everything was okay until…

"Really?! That's a relief. Well then, don't fall and I'll see you later!" Sasada checked her watch and rushed to her destination. She didn't bother to bring him home. She didn't offer him a helping hand or shoulder. She didn't apologize.

…until she was gone like before.

For once, Natsume felt a little bothered and didn't smile especially since he happened to pick up the EVP Detector lying near his feet.

_-------------_

A decrepit mansion laid near a mire in the middle of a thick fog. Its only identifiable part from the distance was the ash-colored broken shingles piercing the sky and heaven. Each metal plate appeared to crash at any given moment as the wind howled louder and more menacingly.

Sasada was happy.

She read in a book called **Japan's Haunted Houses for the Happy Hyper Hunters** that this place was considered a hot spot for spirits.

She was beaming even more.

One step and another and another and another, Sasada knew there was no turning back. She took one last look behind her and proceeded. She had waited for this moment. She had waited and she couldn't wait any longer.

**FWOOSH!!!**

"OW!!!"

Well, what did you expect? Not everyone was able to fulfill their dreams and desires and Sasada was one of them.

She had landed in a hole. A big damn hole was blocking maybe more like **trapping** her from her one chance of freedom. It was her day! She was supposed to be God! She was meant to be happy for herself and never bother Nastume ever again.

Brushing off the fallen dead leaves from her shoes and dusting her bottom from other debris, she frowned and jumped.

"OUCH!"

She landed on her butt again and it hurt…again.

"I don't care! I will get out of here! I will prove that there are spirits! I will show that I'm not some kid who lives in Lala Land!" She shouted and hurriedly climbed the slippery pit. Each attempt dug at her nails. Each hand seized aggravatingly to hold onto anything to provide leverage. Her feet ached. Her back ached, but she didn't quit.

She gazed listlessly at the sky and saw it was getting to nightfall. She still had time and tried once more.

_-------------_

"Thank-you."

Natsume left Sasada-san's house and ran. He first thought she would return home if she noticed that her ghost gear was missing and if she couldn't find it. When he had arrived, her mother said she hadn't come home yet. Her mother suggested that she probably was hanging out with some friends or doing some shopping.

Natsume didn't like it one bit.

He had just turned a corner and gazed at the sky beginning to darken, but it wasn't the typical dark. Each angle in the sky had clouds thickening up for a thunderstorm.

_-------------_

Sasada breathed in deeply and screamed her lungs out. She had tried countless ways to get out from her Hell Hole, but each attempt only made her wallow in her own defeat. She knew she could do it tomorrow. She understood that she should have planned ahead if things did become worse. She recognized the situation she was in, but she didn't have anything to rely on.

During the impact, she had smashed her cell phone. Just now, she discovered her EVP Detector was nowhere in sight. Fatigue overwhelmed her, and she was just about to slumber into the closed darkness.

Closed like her hand.

"Sasada-san!"

It was faint.

"Sasada-san! Do you hear me? Where are you?!"

It almost sounded like Natsume-kun.

"Sasada-san! If you're in that mansion, then please come out! It's about to rain!"

I must be delusional.

"Sasada-san! I came to also return your belonging. It's an EVP Detector!"

I won't bother him ever again I told myself.

"Sasada-san! Are you hurt? How did you get in there?"

An opening.

An opened hand reached for her closed one.

Natsume noticed the pit was deep and checked his surroundings to see anything that would aid. He rushed over to a limping thick branch and gnawed on it with his arms. His hands pushed on the oversized limb, frustratingly tearing off the wooden being. He finally managed to hijack its rough sepia-colored branch and returned to Sasada's side. With one hand, he lowered the mobile brown piece and pleaded her to wake up to take hold of her escape. He was surprised that she was awake.

"What are doing here Natsume-kun?"

The question startled him and he didn't know how to reply, but ignored it.

"You need to get out from there first! Grab the branch, and I'll pull you out!"

Sasada grinded her teeth and for the first time in a long time, she cried.

Natsume was taken aback by this new Sasada. She was crying and bellowing aloud. The Sasada he saw everyday was strong and very spirited. She didn't take "no" for an answer. Smart, cunning, and always one foot forward, she would help anyone and anything. Sasada didn't take the role of damsel of distress instead she played the heroic prince, seeking pleasure and adventure.

But right now, she was fragile.

"Sasada-san, please, grab the branch so I can haul you out."

She at last acknowledged his plea, and firmly held the rust colored limb as she heard Natsume heave. A few more pulls from him and a few more pushes from her, the overall experience was rewarding and tiring.

"Come on, Sasada-san. I'll take you home."

Natsume stretched out his once supple pale hand which was now all worn and dirtied to her. He didn't have the prospect to smile first for Sasada smiled and accepted the invitation. A thought struck when she held his hand and righted herself next to Natsume.

"_He's so warm."_

She cried again. She was glad that someone found her, but at the same time, she realized she bothered him again.

_-------------_

"Ano…Natsume-kun…"

"Nan desu ka?"

Natsume looked at Sasada's face and wondered what she was worried about.

"How did you know I was there?"

"Oh, that. I asked some people around the neighborhood and they said they saw a weird girl with glasses singing some song about demons while skipping merrily. I knew it was you and they told me the directions to get there."

"Oh…"

"When I arrived, I couldn't find you. I initially thought you were already inside, but as I walking, I saw a huge trench. I had feeling you would be in there."

"Oh…"

Natsume seemed to feel that there was also something else worrying her.

"I also happened to pick up your EVP Detector at school. You dropped it when you crashed into me."

"Oh…"

Natsume sensed something was amiss and slowly stopped in their tracks. She noticed this and asked why.

"Sasada-san, was there something you really wanted to do at that place?"

She looked up at Natsume's concerned face and smiled.

"Iie, betsu ni."

That was usually Natsume's typical answer. That was usually Natsume's typical façade. That was usually Sasada's turn to typically confront Natsume and ask what's wrong. When did it become the opposite?

Natsume didn't want to pry into her affairs, but she was a friend. He was, of course, considerate of her feelings, but he knew she had done plenty of things for him. He just wanted to do something for her.

"Sasada-san…"

She wasn't looking at him, but she listened. She didn't want him to see her tearful complexion. She didn't want to see her in this eschewed state. She was all disheveled and possibly, stank. At the end, she didn't want to bother him.

Natsume continued talking anyway.

"Sasada-san, when you feel well again…"

"_I_ _wanted to do something fun_," she thought.

"…when you freshen yourself…"

"_I needed an exit_," she told herself.

"…and walk out the next morning…"

"_I_ _wished for adventure_," she recalled.

"…when you have time…"

"_I wished to prove to myself_," she reflected.

"…just remember…"

"_I_ _didn't want to be a bother_," she grieved.

"…I will listen."

At that last part, she glanced toward Natsume who presumed walking and she followed suit. A glimmer of hope shimmered in her eyes. Natsume felt the twist of her body and knew she was eyeing him. He returned the hopeful gesture and some more words before they broke their gaze.

"I want to listen to what you have to say, but don't force yourself. Sasada-san, I don't consider you a hindrance. I have never thought of you as bother, so please. Please, don't force yourself to do things that are treacherous. Please, think about those around you first before pulling a stunt like that."

His lecture was stern, but sincere. He wasn't angry, just concerned. Nastume-kun was being like he always was.

He was being Natsume-kun.

He was a kind and considerate person who didn't ask for help, but helped others. Even more, he didn't find her a bother.

Natsume thought she still wasn't listening, but her last response explained it all.

"Arigatou, Natsume-kun, for helping me and…"

She had mumbled the last part and Natsume was about to inquire her further, but she said it was a secret. She giggled like she usually did and he smiled like he usually did.

"I guess I'll be borrowing your warmth just for today," sang Sasada and Natsume smiled once more. As they walked, she replayed the response she said earlier in her mind.

"_Arigatou, Natsume-kun, for helping me and for not finding me a bother_."

She held onto his hand even tighter and he tightened his. This was a new experience as the gaps of their fingers closed the distance between them. They were hand in hand, pacing to the other's footsteps and laughing together for once.

For once.

**End**

Author's Notes

**Ohayou** – it means _Good Morning_. The formal phrase is _**Ohayou Gozaimasu**_.

**Konnichiwa** – it's a common greeting to say _Hello_ or _Hi_.

**Arigatou – **it's a common way to say _Thank-you_. The formal gesture is _**Arigatou Gozaimasu**_ and _**Arigatou Gozaimashita**_. They are both correct and suggest _Thank-you very much _and _Thank-you once again_. _**Doumo**_ is informal.

**Daijoubu** – it means _Are you alright?_ _**Daijoubu desu ka?**_ means _Is it alright?_ Another way is _**Buji desu ka?**_ which is more formal.

**Betsu ni** – it's a common reply to say _Nothing_. Some people also use _**Nan demo nai**_ which has the same meaning, but a bit more formal.

**Nan desu ka** – it's a common formal question to ask _What is it?_ _**Nani**_, _**Nanika**_, _**Nanka**_, _**Nanda**_ are other ways to ask _What?_ or _What is it?_

**Hai** – it's a common remark to say _Yes, Okay, Alright_, etc. _**Eh**_ is more informal.

**Iie** – it's a common way to say _No_. Some people use _**Nai**_ which has the same meaning, but it's a bit more formal and more absolute that there's really nothing happening.

**Ne/ Oi – **it's a common to start a question or gesture something like _Hey_. Some Japanese men and boys use _**Oi**_while females use _**Ne**_, but some tough girls would say _**Oi**_**.**

**Ano** – it's a common form to start a question or used showing uncertainty. It's like _Umm…_ of _Uh…_ and then you say something. Some people also use _**Eto…**_ which means the same thing.

**Okaasan** – it means _Mother/ Mom_. ___**Hahaoya, Hahaue, Haha**__**are** are more traditional._

**Sensei** – it mostly means _Teacher_, but it's also used for someone in a profession like doctor or musician. Because that person has more knowledge about a certain job or subject, you address them as _**Sensei**_ in respect.

**Kun/ Chan **– **_Kun_** is a common honorific applied mostly to males, but some females use this too. Although, females use _**Chan**_ more, but there are instances of males using that also.

**San **– like _**Kun**_, it's a common honorific, but mostly used to show respect as well as unfamiliarity. It's also used for older people, but here, it's to display the former.

**Bento** – its literal translation is _Boxed Lunch_. It's a container with small boxes inside for food like rice, omelets, etc.

**EVP Detector** – it's an instrument to collect _Electronic Voice Phenomenon_. Spirits are said to collect anything emitting heat/electricity like electronics or even people. This is then transferred into the device and would indicate the presence of the spirit.

These are all my definitions. You can use them, but credit and tell me, okay? ^^ People are entitled to their respective opinions. I like this pairing, so that's that. ^_~

Thank-you for reading. Reviews are always welcomed.


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